It’s my right?

Raise that wall

Stop the ball

Wear your gas mask 

Am I right? May I ask?

He’s breathing my oxygen

She’s upsetting my religion

What’s right, what’s wrong!

Whose side are you on the double sided prong?

Shall we vainly try to own nature

Teach our kids to bicker 

Scraped knees. Dust clouds. Will they vanish?

My wish against your wish. 

Ctrl Alt Del. Halt play. 

-Anuradha Venkatnarayan 

Maa

 

In your eyes Maa, 

Patience, I saw

carefully lining the arc of my eyes with kohl 

Pride; when I broke the bully's jaw

for brushing my bosom

Doubts and questions; when they gnaw

your fathomless eyes mirror my truth.

 

In your arms Maa, 

Power, I concede

wielding scimitar and trident, I fight

Prudence you taught me; when hurdles impede

I stand unafraid, anchored with faith

even when bruised and kneeled

I looked to you; holding my head high. 

 

In your face Maa, 

Beauty, I adore

the curls framing your divine face

Brevity of the miracle of life, I ponder

life breath; heaving and ebbing

with every second you offer

I am aware; I am you

Electro-Chemical Reactions Inside the Head!

Dear Hruday and Nayna, 

‘Electro-chemical reactions’ are what I want to talk to you about!! Now don’t get all worried that I’m going to take a science lesson. 🤓

Electro-chemical reactions are nothing but your thoughts! Your brain creates thoughts, day in and day out, even when you are sleeping! For example, when you see a bird, your brain with its 100 billion neurons (nerve cells) and trillions of connections is probably already thinking about flying or planes! Or perhaps even about painting it or the movie ‘Rio’!! While I am writing this my neurons are already forming the next sentence, rummaging through the various other things I have thought of writing about.  

To put it simply, the workings of our brain is a complex thing that no one has truly understood. Not even the smartest of scientists or the wisest of wise men. But we know how to use it! And that makes us real powerful. 

While you watch TV, YouTube videos or playing video games, you are using your brain extremely sparingly - probably only 1/1000th of what your brain is capable of doing. The visual brilliance holds your interest; but that’s it. The video games may tickle a minuscule part of your brain to work and plan the next move; giving you the pleasure of being a magnificent creator or controller of things for those few minutes. But when the game ends, that’s what it is. The End. Someone else has imagined it and made the attention grabbing video game for you. You are just a player. Somebody has done all the thinking and filmed the video in such a way that you might like it. You just watched it and used one tiny, tiny part of your brain. 

Tell me something, how do you feel when you finish making a Lego from scratch without looking at the instructions? Or after you make a birthday card for a friend with just some coloured paper and colouring pencils? When the teacher asks you to write in your own words about the Sri lankan holiday that you just came back from; you write an interesting article, knowing that it is going to make her smile. Don’t you feel a special happiness?

I hope you do. Because that’s the happiness of creating something new. And that uses a whole lot of your brain’s capacity. That’s what a person’s brain is meant to be doing; really working it! Using all its neurons and it’s complex connections to create things. To learn. To add more connections. It’s a bit like rummaging through a gigantic laundry basket to find that missing pair of socks... and finding it!

Next time you see a bird I hope you will think of flying, planes, painting, the movie ‘Rio’, this article that I wrote specially for you two, making a video game about birds perhaps, maybe making a birthday card in the shape of a bird, a Lego eagle soaring in the skies as vast as your brain, and many many other things. That is what I wish for you my children. Exploring the world of possibilities within your head. 

Ditch the easy way out. Let’s make sure that our brain works real hard for us!

Love,

Amma

Silken shroud

Billowing black cloud
gossamer silken shroud
muffling the beating heart
drumming its own rhythm
multicoloured shiny smooth lining
interwoven dream skeins
folded chits of intent
hidden in inner pockets
keys to the doors opening out
the winding avenues; narrowing
the waning scene; blurring away
spools of thread
stretching to unravel;
slipping through fingers
catch the tail wind
the ribbon splitting the sky
an uninhibited dance
a diamond;
soaring into the unknown blue;
hits the red smear
the glass ceiling
billowing black cloud.

-Anuradha Venkatnarayan

Looking Away

The glint on the odd symmetry of corrugated sheets

The jagged corners of the shanty town vying in the foreground 

Catches my eye

I adjust my gaze; pointedly on the

blue of the horizon

The uneven, grimy nails on the hands willing me to look down

Hardened by seasons of waiting for the clink of the coin 

Grabs at my throat

I veer away; pray for the light to turn green

The clefts in the open mouthed stare oblivious of my glance

Years of toil running down their face in wrinkles 

Staggers my breath

I inhale deep; tug at the grey in my hair

The craggy peaks on the paper rang a death knell

Seconds slipping through; parts of me dying within

Flailing in vain at my life breath

I meet my eye in the mirror; where do I look away now. 

-Anuradha Venkatnarayan 

Selfie ek kalaa hai!

With due apologies to Hindi grammar nazis!

Selfie ek kalaa hai;

Jo maine taala hai;

Na theek se phone pakadna aata hai 

Na phone bina giraaye mujhse click kiya jaata hai

Na pout, na jeeb se attitude dikhaana aata hai

Na baalon ko kholke best angle pakadna aata hai

Jaise saajan nazar se nazar milaata hai

Waise phone ke sheeshe se nazar milaana mujhse na hota hai

Par main hee akele kyun rahoon 

Main kyun meri khoobsoorti se daroon

Selfie ek kalaa hai;

Lo maine bhi nikaala hai!😃

Runaway Thoughts

Disclaimer! 

This piece is bound to read like the thoughts that bounce off the wall of a neurotic person's brain! It contains random deliberations flashing louder than the billboards in New York's Times Square, theories that could shock the world (even Trump's announcements will sound lame in comparison!), inane memories that will make you wonder if you should actually finish reading this piece and quirky solutions to problems that have been nibbling at the back of my head for years now. But if you have ever wondered why people run marathons; then you should labour on to finish this piece of writing. Who knows; you might even put on your running shoes and give it a go or you might run in the opposite direction (I mean, figuratively!)

People run 10kms, 21kms, 42kms and even between cities instead of just booking train or flight tickets. Why? Some things are better left unanswered. It keeps the mystery intact. I ran my first 10 kms exactly a year ago. I am just a year old baby crawling on this track! And I cannot vouch for all fellow runners, but strugglers like me might identify with some of the thoughts that raced across my mind while I was slicing through the wind! I do like using fancy epithets like 'slicing through the wind' for running. Now that I have ticked 21kms off my bucket list, I feel entitled to such grand thoughts! On second thoughts 'half marathon' sounds better than just 21 kms!

Anyway, during those 156 minutes of running to hear the sweet beep sound as I stepped over the finish mat, I would have had at least 156 thoughts! And trust me, some of them were a revelation even to me. I definitely wont reel out all of them; just the nice ones.

It started with some really nice thoughts like, how blue the sky is and is that sweet smell from the tree ahead or is my fellow runner wearing a nice deodorant?! 
"Oh isn't that my neighbour?! I think I've seen that tee-shirt hanging on her washing line."
"Wait, in the youtube video, did Milind say inhale for 3 steps and exhale for 5 or the other way round?"
"Where is that water station? My tongue feels like crocodile."
"Why??"

As I turned the bend and spotted the slight incline in the road, the only thought in my head was, "Keep it slow and lean in soldier." 
And when I hit the top I turn around and gloated, "You are a colossus!" But my elation lasted only for a moment. The voice notification on my runner's app crashed into my colossal smugness and I went back to being a lump of debris. 
"Is my Strava showing just 7 Kms? Is it working properly? Did I charge the damn thing or not?"
"Am I making as much noise with my shoes as the guy in the front? Is he the abominable snowman's cousin?!"
"Is the shadow behind me going to overtake me on the left or the right? The volunteer on the mike said, slow runners stay on... the left, I think."
"Ooh is that camera man focussing on me? Smile through your sweat babe, maybe you will come in the papers tomorrow."
Spotting a friend who was much faster than me, I waved and mused, "What did he eat first thing in the morning?"
"Bloody hell, did I just cross 14 Kms? That's two thirds of the total distance. Isn't it? Is it? My head's not working. Should I ask someone? Just to be sure."
"Why??"

Somewhere along the way, I lost track of distance. It was just about putting one leg ahead of the other. Plodding on. When the 2.30 hour pacer crossed me I looked at him helplessly. I wanted to catch up but my legs had a mind of their own by then! They were like errant children, with not an ounce of obedience in them.

"How do some runners keep the same pace for all 21 kms? Are they made out of a different material?"
"I cannot feel my left hand. Am I having a heart attack?"
"Do I like myself at all?"
"Did Trump actually announce that teachers should be armed now to deal with the school shootings?!" (In my desperate moments I must have thought about guns and how to use them somewhere along the 17th kilometre! How else would I have ended up thinking about Trump?)
"I can feel the sweat roll down the back of my neck. It's tickling me."
"Should I get highlights in my hair?"
"Right...left, right...left. right...left...aaargghhh!"
"Why??"

I ran the last few kilometres with my head not with my feet. After 18 Kms, the signage just went missing. Don't know if the organisers were playing mind games with us, but those signs were a beacon of hope. "Where is that sign with 19 Kms written on it?! I swear it feels like I've been running forever."
"Why??"

I spotted a runner who had stopped on the side and I said to him, "Please run with me, I cant bear to watch you just stand there." God knows what he thought of me but he sportingly ran along for a few metres and then he also disappeared! 
"When did I feel this hot last? My face feel like a tandoor."
"Wouldn't it be heavenly to open the fridge now and just stand in front of it?!"
"Where is that finish line?"
And then from a distance I could hear the music. "My Mt Everest is close. I should be able to see it now."
"Tu na jaane aas paas hai khudaa..."
"Why??"

Then some good man behind me shouted the magical words, "Just 500 mts to go!"
"300 mts".
"100 mts".
And then it went "Beeeeeep!"

My 21 kms were done. I stretched out on the floor and looked up. "The sky is still blue."